i tend to distance myself from anything that will make me stress or depress because I wont let my brain, my emotion and my soul feel burden with such thing. including, people. and sometimes, it get me confuse because im not sure either Im avoiding it atau merajuk. luls.

but my merajuk is something that I took it seriously. I mean, its not 2-3 jam, or 2-3 hari. It may takes years, sometimes.

I still remember when I was a freshie. this one kakak distribute a camping program forms to all freshies,  the 'choosen' freshies. i was hanging out with my friend in her room when this kakak came and bring a form for the camp. oh. fyi. aku suka gila camp okayyy! okay back to the stories, so this kakak invite my friends to the camp. only my friend, siap merayu bagai while giving me the 'eh kau siapaaaaa?" glance. as I notice the kakak's glance, I gave her 'eh aku hadap sangat lah camp kau ni...'

so, at the end, sampai dah grad pun aku tak jejakkan kaki dan tak amik kisah langsung perihal aktiviti itu walaupun seluruh umat mengatakan aktiviti itu best. blergh. tak matipun tak pergi. haaaa. gituu.

my family was not excluded. ada satu masa, waktu mama baru dapat kereta baru. waktu tu aku baru dapat licence. takdelah baru. dah setahun rasanya. jadi, mama akan selalu suruh adik yang bawakkan kereta itu. yes. cuma nama adik yang akan dipetik. so, I look at the car while saying 'nope. I wont drive u. ever!' and yes, lepas2 tu, adik dan mama ada suruh aku bawak kereta tu but I say no! no! no! sampailah ada satu masa, mama cakap lembut-lembut "takpelah naaa. bawaklah kereta mama tu..." then tiba-tiba baru rasa nak lembut hati nak pakai kereta tu. the power of a mother.

begitu juga sepet, dia pun tak terkecuali. ada certain-certain thing that I stop doing it sebab terasa hati dengan dia. but I guess, he didnt even noticed it. hahahahha. lantak lah.

and yes. ada banyak benda aku stop buat sebab merajuk. but, nah. people didnt notice it sebab...... eh siapa kisah pun kan? ahhahahahahahahahaha.

so, itu merajuk. I tend to distance myself from others sebab taknak stress. tapi aku tak adalah merajuk dengan orang tu. its more like 'hey main jauh-jauh lah. stress aku' kinda thing.

this one kakak 1 at my office dengan selambanya berkata di depan muka aku pada jarak lebih kurang satu meter....

'team B cakap benda tu boleh clean. eh kepala hotak diaaaaaaa!'

first thing is, team B consists of 2 people, me and kakak 2. and yeah, we're struggle to complete everything. but masa tak mengizinkan. second thing is, we're HELPING their team. yes. itu bukan kerja kitorang pun but kitorang buat sebab takut diorang tak cukup tangan.

so, of course lah aku terasa gila when she said like that. stress dengan boss, dengan client and dia nak tambah stress lagi. so i kept distance with her. senang! tak adalah stress-stress.

so, sometimes people say merajuk is a way to find attention. well, i dont think so. tak pernah harap pun somebody come and 'pujuk'. but, it was fun. sebab nak tengok either people around you sedar atau tak that you are in that 'merajuk' phase. so far, mama je yang power.

hoyeah!