lepas tu, kenapa menangis?
because i miss her so much, I feel like I wanna run to Ipoh right now! I havent see her in months. I used to visit her once in 2 or 3 months dulu. kot. tapi sebab kereta selalu buat hal and kadang-kadang mah wasn't at home, so dah lama lah tak menyinggah.
until one day, mama told me...
"ana... embah dah tak boleh nampak apa-apa dah"
I was speechless. I cant say anything. my heart broke to pieces. macam mana embah duduk rumah sorang-sorang? macam mana embah nak makan? macam mana embah nak mengaji???
nenek was diagnosed with glaucoma, 2-3 years ago. she had undergo some surgery and etc and things back for normal for only about few years.
I wasnt strong enough to face her. so, i decided, i dont want to see her. to see her in normal condition already make me feel like crying, ape ntah lagi jumpa bila keadaan dia macam tu. cida said, she will ask "siapa ni?" because she cant see the face. embah used to say to me...
"embah doakan ana dengan sepet mudah semua urusan. cepat-cepaaat kawin.mintak-mintak le embah dapat tengok. haih. tak tahulah sempat tengok ke tak...."
listening to her words already make you wanna get married on the spot to make sure she'll be able to see me getting married with her favorite candidate.
"naaa... yang ni rupa dia elok sikit dari sebelum ni..."
im not sure who is she referring to when she said 'sebelum ni'. but for sure, she likes him because she always ask "sepet sihat? kawan lagi dengan dia?"
gosh. i really miss her. feel really really guilty because i havent see her for a long time, and i dont have the gut to see her. I read quran after maghrib because embah cant read anymore, so that if there any goodness from my reading, perhaps all the goodness will goes to embah.
i wish i could hug her tight. which is impossible because she will scream "anaaa sakit!"
embahhh. rinduuuu T_T